Me: *loses 10lbs* where the fuck are results? I see no change????
also me: *gains 1lb* Oh well look at that i’ve expanded by 34inches, good god.
224.6lbs
The current satte of my body disgusts me
I need to be thin again.
I’ve been on both ends and people treat me better when I’m thin, they take more interest in my hobbies and opinions, and want to talk to me rather than avoid me.
People don’t just automatically dismiss me as just a fat lazy boring bitch like they do now that I’m fat.
Me: *loses 10lbs* where the fuck are results? I see no change????
also me: *gains 1lb* Oh well look at that i’ve expanded by 34inches, good god.
Me: no fear
ED: you might have excess skin later and will probably have to surgically remove it
Me: one fear
ASDFGHJKLJDJDJWJDYDYWYE EYDU6WW4SUU!!!!!???!!!???!!!???? 😭😱💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
Calorie counter: Time to count!
Me: Ha! THERE’S NOTHING TO COUNT
Me at 5 pm after a binge: THERE’S TOO MUCH TO COUNT *distressed screech*
• thinking it was okay to eat more since i have lost so much weight
• not checking my weight everyday (i was honestly so scared to check since i knew the numbers went up)
• carbs. i ate bread 24/7
• no exercise cause i was so lazy
• thinking my weight is enough and losing control
• not checking tumblr (tumblr helped me so much in my first months as it gave me warnings and motivitation)
• eating when not hungry
• rewarding my fasts with food
I feel really shitty but I can’t tell anyone i know because they’ll just think I’m irrational or petty
One of my friends invited me to his birthday party, then told me he couldn’t get the day off and wasn’t going to have a birthday party, then he had it anyways, and everyone he knows was invited, including mutual friends that we have, except me. I was the only one who wasn’t invited out of pretty much everyone he knows, and we’ve been “friends” for 8 years… And my best friend who did go doesn’t seem upset at all that my friend lied to me to get me to not go. He doesn’t seem upset at all that i was the only one not invited. I didn’t do anything wrong. And I just feel like shit. Why doesn’t anybody like me?
I told my friends who had the party that I don’t want to be friends anymore. But it doesn’t really help me feel better.@18 year old me: fuck you for not trying harder, fuck you for choosing to self recover when nobody was even forcing you to because you were still average weight
@19 year old me: fuck you for never exercising and being a lazy alcoholic piece of shit who never even tried to eat healthy because you thought you were fine with being “just a little bit chubby”
@20 year old me: fuck you for binging nonstop for a whole year just because you had a new boyfriend and thought you could just eat the same gross fast food as him just to “fit in”
@21 year old me: fuck you for not getting your shit together when you realized you were at your highest weight yet
@22 year old me: fuck you for literally letting yourself gain even more weight when you were already at your highest weight ever
